måndag 12 november 2018

My first Father's Day - a day to remember



Greetings from the other side.

Yesterday I got to celebrate my first ever father's day. Coincidentally, it was also my father-in-law's 50th father's day. I figured out that when, or perhaps "if", I get to celebrate my 50th father's day, I will be close to 90 years old when that day comes. I have had my first child later than he had his though.

To celebrate your first father's day is surely something very special, and something you will always remember. However, yesterday will stay in my memory not just because of what day it was, but also because of how it turned out.

The day started with me waking up to the lovely, and very excited, sounds from my wife in the living room as she was talking to the baby. It turns out that our little, soon to be 4 months old, girl had managed to roll over on to her stomach, on her own, for the very first time. What better father's day gift can a dad really get? :) So the day started off really well, with everyone in a happy mood.

At lunch-time we went over to my in-laws, where we met up with my wife's brother and his family, for father's day lunch. Everyone was in a merry mood, and my daughter was lying on the floor in her babygym (it has a built in mat for her to lie on), making happy sounds and talking away at the things dangling above her head. Not long after lunch was done, it was time for her to take an afternoon nap. Everything went well, and she soon fell asleep.

Fast forward not even an hour and she wakes up screaming and inconsolable. For the next 1-2 hours (my conception of time during this is a bit blurry) she screamed and acted like her stomach was aching. I should also point out that she hadn't, at this point, had a poop for about a week. I have heard that this is normal for babies, but before this time she had generally pooped every day, so this was completely new to us. Anyway, my wife - who is suffering from postpartum depression, anxiety, etc (more information about that in this post) - was incredibly distraught by the whole thing, but she did her best to keep herself together for our daughter's sake. Luckily there were others there to help as well, including her mother and sister, both of whom we owe a great debt of gratitude for being there for us yesterday. After a while, when nothing we did seemed to help, my wife called the hospital, and they told us that if it didn't get better we should come in and they'll take a look at her. Not long after, we were in a scramble to get the car ready, baby dressed and into the car, etc. Then we raced off to the hospital. My wife's sister came along, which was a good comfort for my wife.

Luckily, while we were in the car, the little one stopped screaming and seemed fairly content. This continued while we were at the hospital, and she hasn't started screaming like that again since either. At the hospital they weren't really able to find any issues with her, nor any cause of why she had been screaming her lungs out like she was. They told us that it is normal for babies to go 2 weeks without pooping as well. We swung by the pharmacy on the way back home and picked up something for the baby, in case she ever has stomach issues again.

Seeing your baby cry like that really cuts like a knife in your heart, and it was especially difficult for my wife given how she is feeling. She did good though, and I am very proud of her for keeping it together as she did despite all the stress it caused her. For my wife and I, as I imagine it would be for any parent, it was very difficult to hear our child scream like that, and feeling helpless to do anything about it when nothing seems to work. It just tears at something deep inside you.

Coming home from the hospital, it was a mixed sense of relief that it seemed to be over, and a fear that it would happen again. Luckily it hasn't. She seems to be doing ok now, which is a huge relief for us. My wife and I are left a bit shaken, but happy that she is ok.

See you all on the other side!

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