My first Father's Day - a day to remember

Greetings from the other side.

Yesterday I got to celebrate my first ever father's day. Coincidentally, it was also my father-in-law's 50th father's day. I figured out that when, or perhaps "if", I get to celebrate my 50th father's day, I will be close to 90 years old when that day comes. I have had my first child later than he had his though.

To celebrate your first father's day is surely something very special, and something you will always remember. However, yesterday will stay in my memory not just because of what day it was, but also because of how it turned out.

The day started with me waking up to the lovely, and very excited, sounds from my wife in the living room as she was talking to the baby. It turns out that our little, soon to be 4 months old, girl had managed to roll over on to her stomach, on her own, for the very first time. What better father's day gift can a dad really get? :) So the day started off really well, with everyone in a happy mood.

At lunch-time we went over to my in-laws, where we met up with my wife's brother and his family, for father's day lunch. Everyone was in a merry mood, and my daughter was lying on the floor in her babygym (it has a built in mat for her to lie on), making happy sounds and talking away at the things dangling above her head. Not long after lunch was done, it was time for her to take an afternoon nap. Everything went well, and she soon fell asleep.

Fast forward not even an hour and she wakes up screaming and inconsolable. For the next 1-2 hours (my conception of time during this is a bit blurry) she screamed and acted like her stomach was aching. I should also point out that she hadn't, at this point, had a poop for about a week. I have heard that this is normal for babies, but before this time she had generally pooped every day, so this was completely new to us. Anyway, my wife - who is suffering from postpartum depression, anxiety, etc (more information about that in this post) - was incredibly distraught by the whole thing, but she did her best to keep herself together for our daughter's sake. Luckily there were others there to help as well, including her mother and sister, both of whom we owe a great debt of gratitude for being there for us yesterday. After a while, when nothing we did seemed to help, my wife called the hospital, and they told us that if it didn't get better we should come in and they'll take a look at her. Not long after, we were in a scramble to get the car ready, baby dressed and into the car, etc. Then we raced off to the hospital. My wife's sister came along, which was a good comfort for my wife.

Luckily, while we were in the car, the little one stopped screaming and seemed fairly content. This continued while we were at the hospital, and she hasn't started screaming like that again since either. At the hospital they weren't really able to find any issues with her, nor any cause of why she had been screaming her lungs out like she was. They told us that it is normal for babies to go 2 weeks without pooping as well. We swung by the pharmacy on the way back home and picked up something for the baby, in case she ever has stomach issues again.

Seeing your baby cry like that really cuts like a knife in your heart, and it was especially difficult for my wife given how she is feeling. She did good though, and I am very proud of her for keeping it together as she did despite all the stress it caused her. For my wife and I, as I imagine it would be for any parent, it was very difficult to hear our child scream like that, and feeling helpless to do anything about it when nothing seems to work. It just tears at something deep inside you.

Coming home from the hospital, it was a mixed sense of relief that it seemed to be over, and a fear that it would happen again. Luckily it hasn't. She seems to be doing ok now, which is a huge relief for us. My wife and I are left a bit shaken, but happy that she is ok.

See you all on the other side!

The ups and downs of life with a baby

Greetings from the other side.

Time passes very quickly these days. When our daughter was first born, and for the first few days thereafter, it seemed like every day was a week long and I lost track of time more times than I care to count. After that, however, time appears to have sped up again. Now it is just flying by, almost to the point where you can sort of say - if comparing to how it felt when she had first arrived - that every week is about a day long. That is a bit of an exaggeration, of course, but it does point to the fact that time seems to go by so quickly now. She is already 3-months-and-a-bit old, yet I have no idea where that time went!

She is healthy, and growing, which warms my fatherly heart to see. When she first arrived, she lost weight for a while, and we had to stay at the hospital where she was born a few days extra until they saw that she was putting on weight again. She is the first child for both my wife and for myself. While my wife had done the smart thing and read up on a lot of stuff beforehand - though in retrospect, all babies are different, and so not all that information has been as useful as we would have liked all the time - I never really did that. Then suddenly one day I had a newborn baby to take care of. Luckily the people at the hospital were very kind to show me the ropes on how to change diapers, etc.

As I have written about before, my wife had a difficult birthing experience, and she lost a lot of blood and had to be taken to surgery for stitches. She got to hold our daughter for a little while after she was born, but after that we didn't see her again for roughly 6 hours. Something which was very traumatic for her. After giving birth she has also suffered from postpartum depression, which, coupled with her past history of twice suffering from stress-related burnouts (utmattningssyndrom in Swedish), which she is also having symptoms of again, and being a highly sensitive person (HSP) has meant that she has not been able to enjoy motherhood as much as she would like.

At this point, I will point out that my wife has given me her full blessing to write about this, as she herself isn't trying to keep it a secret and has been very open about it.

I should also point out that she does love the baby and has bonded with her well, and she does do her best to look after her. She harbors fears that she isn't a good mother, or won't be able to take care of her daughter like she wants to if she falls deeper into the depression and exhaustion. Which, of course, is a vicious circle. She doesn't have the energy levels she should have, nor the resilience to sounds when the baby screams - which makes her stress-levels shoot through the roof. She has better days, and worse days, of course, regarding her energy levels and her depression issues. She always does her best though, and I am always doing my best to help as much as I can.

As a husband, it hurts seeing the woman you love go through these issues. You want to help, but you also know that there isn't much you can do other than to try to alleviate the stress by helping out as much as you can, and being there for her. I, myself, suffered from depression and anxiety issues for 13 years before crawling my way out of that particular issue, so I know a bit about what she is going through, even though I think each experience is unique in some ways. I wish she could get more help with her problems. It took a little over 2 months after our baby girl was born before she got to see a psychologist. She has another meeting with the psychologist planned. Though I admit she doesn't feel that it gives her much help, and she would prefer to get help in the form of cognitive therapy.

Luckily, our daughter has been good about sleeping at night - only waking up a couple of times and then sleeping 3-5 hours in-between waking up. This is especially good since my wife is a very light sleeper, and usually takes a long time falling asleep.

We've been blessed, and fortunate, to have her parents living close to us. They've been really good at helping out, which has been a real help for us. It has helped my alleviate some of the stress and burden from my wife, which has been invaluable. We can not thank them enough for all they do, even if it is just allowing our daughter to sleep in her stroller/pram at their house so my wife can rest for a bit.

Yesterday, we got our first snow of the winter here. There is now a thin blanket of snow on the ground - at least in large patches, as some of it has melted away already.

I am, as I said, doing my best to support my wife and take care of the baby, while also looking for a new job. Though part of me thinks that it might be a blessing in disguise that I haven't found a new job yet as it has allowed me to be home and help my wife now that she is going through these things. To be honest there is no place I would rather be at this point in time. I get to support my wife when she needs me the most, and I get to spend time with my daughter on a daily basis, and watch her grow and learn new things.

I think that will be enough from me for now. I hope you are all doing well out there, and remember to take care of each other! :)

See you all on the other side!

Welcome, little one.

Greetings from the other side.

It has taken me a bit longer than planned to write this new post for the blog. The reason for this is the birth of my daughter, which has meant that all plans I might have had previously has taken a back-seat to changing diapers and helping my wife in any way I can. I must say I am really enjoying my new responsibilities. :) It is amazing how much love you can feel for someone you have only just met. I just feel like I want to everything in my power to make her feel happy and loved.

Becoming a father is the biggest, and greatest, thing that has ever happened to me. Period. She has only been with us a short while, yet I can't imagine my life without her now. I guess you never fully understand a parent's love for their children until you have children of your own.

Her life didn't start out quite as we had anticipated. Her mom lost a lot of blood during labor, and had to be taken off to surgery to be stitched and get new blood. From what we were told, she lost about 1,7 liters of blood in total. While she was away with that, I spent time with the newborn. Unfortunately for her, and her parents, they were a bit worried about her as well, so she had to undergo a lot of tests to make sure she was ok. Luckily, everything has been given a green light. :) We had to stay there in hospital a few day extra though, just to be on the safe side, and to allow my wife to recuperate.

The heat has been a bit of a problem for us. The first night back home, we had 28 degrees Celsius in the bedroom. We have had to move in with my wife's parents, while the heat-wave remains as it is cooler in their house than in ours. The heat is really getting to my wife some times though. Which is understandable. It is affecting us all. We're doing our best to make sure the baby is ok as well. Luckily, we've had a couple of days of cooler temperatures as well - which have been welcome. The wind has picked up a little as well, which has helped.

Sofie's parents have been really helpful and kind to take us in like this, and they are such good support to us as we start our new journey as first-time parents. It's a shame that my own parents live so far away, but hopefully they will be able to come see their first grandchild soon.

That is a difference between my wife's parents and my own. For my parents, this is their first grandchild, while for my wife's parents it is their sixth. My wife is 16 and 13 years younger than her siblings, and both of them were also younger than my wife is now when they started having kids, so hence the difference there, and I am the oldest of my parent's two children (I have a younger brother). To put it further into perspective, earlier this summer my wife's niece got married.

So far, she has had days when she's done almost nothing but eating. Such as, for example, yesterday, when she only took short naps between feeding times all day. Today, on the other hand, she's sleeping. They did tell us it would take a few weeks for her to find her rhythm though.

I am going to try and update the blog with new posts when I can. Though how often will depend a bit on the baby, obviously.

See you all on the other side!

Long time, no see - from a dad-to-be.

Greetings from the other side.

It's the height of summer, the warmth is melting everything away, especially my pregnant wife. A bit of rain wouldn't hurt, and perhaps a cooler day or two, in this heat-wave we are currently experiencing. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a warm, sunny, day as much as the next person. But at least for my wife's, and the trees and plants around, a bit of cooling rain would be nice.

Oh well, we'll take it as it comes. One day at a time. Which, incidentally, is how we are dealing with the pregnancy as well.  We are now one week into that magical 4-week period, centered around the expected delivery date, during which the baby can arrive any day really. For both of us, this is our first child, and it's both nervous and exciting all at the same time! :) I will admit though, that it is mostly exciting. We both can't wait for this new member of our family to arrive!

Becoming a dad for the first time in my life, is a somewhat surreal experience. I have never met this new little person that will soon come into my life, yet I have known for a very long time that I love it dearly. To feel such love for, and connection to, someone you have never met before, feels a bit strange. At the same time, it is also a source of worrying. Thoughts such as "will I be a good dad", "have we forgotten anything ahead of the birth", and even things like "how do I change a diaper again??" some times races through my head. Now, to some of you, that last bit might make you smile a little, but the cold, hard, truth is that I have never changed a diaper on a baby before. I've never had to. I am sure it is very easy, and that all will go smoothly, but if you haven't done something before, it might make you a bit nervous until you have tried. As an added note, I should probably say that it is not like it is keeping me awake at night, or anything like that. None of the above things are. Though it can pop into my head on occasion.

In the end, all I can hope for is that we have prepared enough, and wait for the baby to arrive. I know they say that you can never fully prepare for what's to come - the sleepless nights, the stress, etc - but as long as we have everything we need for the baby's arrival, we'll deal with everything else as it comes.

I am hoping I can start writing more regularly in the blog again now. It felt good to sit down to write on it again, so here's hoping I can keep it up! :)

So until we meet again my friends.

See you all on the other side!

A small update from the other side

Greetings from the other side.

I realize that I have been absent from blogging for quite some time now. Well, over the summer to be precise. This is due to many things. Examples include, but are not limited to: work, getting married, working on a side-project, and other IRL things.

I'm still not sure how regularly I will be able to write here - it will really depend on IRL things - but I want to say that the 'Life on the Other Side' blog isn't dead or forgotten by me. I still want to keep this going, although for now at least it will have to be on a whenever-I-have-time basis.

I hope everyone has had a great summer! :)

My own summer has been an eventful one, at least to me. I only had about 2½ weeks worth of time off from work, though that is because I started working there in August last year. Next summer I should have more than that. Anyway, in those 2½ weeks I got myself married! Which honestly was one of the best things I have done in my entire life. :) Which is good, because I am not planning on doing it again. ^__^

After the wedding we had about a week off, just taking it easy at home and sort of 'landing' again after the whole experience. After that we went over to Sweden and spent some time with my family there, which was nice.

Unfortunately we didn't get a honeymoon, but that's more down to financial reasons than anything else, and we are happy anyway. :)

Now it is time for me to go and get some work done on my side-project. Until next time, my friends.

See you all on the other side!

My first Easter in Finland

Greetings from the other side.

My first Easter on Finnish soil is coming to an end, and I have to say it's been a good experience.

But let's start from the beginning.

As I wrote in my previous post about how I worked on Maundy Thursday, I won't go into that anymore in this post.

The Friday was spent in a calm manner. We didn't really get up to much, although I did get a lot of writing done which felt good. I've been slacking off a bit on my writing lately, so it has felt good to get back to it and being creative again.

We also had my future in-laws over for some Easter 'fika'. Though, again, I wrote about that in my previous post, so if you want to read about it you can find it here.

In the evening, after we had had dinner, my fiancee introduced me to something called "pasha", which you can see in the image below:

Granted, as I understand it, this wasn't the normal kind of pasha that they normally make, and enjoy, as that one contains lemon, something which I can't have. Never the less it still tasted really good, I thought, so I hope she will make it again some time. As I understand it, the pasha originates from Russia.

Saturday didn't get off to a great start. Looking out the window at all the snow that had fallen during the night.

Not much to do about it though. In the afternoon, my fiancee and I went over to her parents place, where we met up with her siblings and their families as well for an Easter bonfire - where we grilled some sausages over the remains of the fire - and a good time. My fiancee's sister and her husband also brought along some friends, a young couple from Afghanistan and their little baby.

On Sunday we went to church. It was nice, as always, but sadly not very many people there.

After church my fiancee and I went to her parents for lunch, and this beautiful and very tasty creation that her father had made:

In the evening we all went to a christian concert in the city church, where my fiancee's brother and nephew were performing as well. It was a good way to end the day, I think.

Time for me to sign out for today. The sun is shining and it is my last day off before heading back to work. I think I might head out for a walk, or something.

See you all on the other side!

Easter time is here

Greetings from the other side.

Easter is here, and this will be my first ever Easter in Finland. I am looking forward to it. There will be an Easter fire lit outside, kind of like the ones we have on May 1st in Sweden, and as I understand it we will be grilling sausages etc over the fire. Sounds good to me! :) For the past couple of years, ever since my fiancee and I first met, we have celebrated Easter in Sweden. This year though, we are doing it here in Finland and, as I mentioned earlier in this post, I am really looking forward to it! My fiancee's siblings and their families are coming as well.

The picture above are of some chocolate balls that my fiancee made today. I can assure you they are very tasty, and healthy too! :) She's very into healthy eating and living.

Later today we are having my future in-laws over for some Easter "fika". If you don't know what "fika" is, then I guess the best explanation I can give is that it is a Swedish thing, and it basically means meeting up for coffee or tea and some kind of cookies or buns or similar thing. Essentially it is a social thing. Look it up on Google, or something similar, if you want to know more.

Yesterday I worked as a "kyrkvärd" (not sure what it is called in English, and honestly a bit too lazy to look it up at the moment), at church. First time doing it on Maundy Thursday (according to Google. Don't blame me if the translation is wrong.) or "Skärtorsdag" in Swedish. I've been to church on those days before, but it was my first time ever working  in church on that day. Nervous at first, but it went well. I had my future father-in-law there with me to help as well.

That's about it from me for this time. I hope you all will have a wonderful Easter and until we meet again.

See you all on the other side!

Stockholm tragedy & birthday celebrations

Geetings from the other side.

This feels like a strange blog-entry to write. I've wanted to write another one for a few days now, but then the attack in Stockholm happened and...well, my focus went elsewhere for a while. Which is understandable. Even though I now live in Finland, I am still a Swedish citizen. It is still the country where I grew up and where my heart lives. When a tragedy like that happens, it affects me. I am thankful that my brother and his girlfriend, and other friends and relatives I have down there in Stockholm, all seem to be ok. But my heart also goes out to all those who were there on that tragic day, and especially to the friends and families of those who lost their lives on that day.

In other news...

Last weekend my fiancee and I went over to Sweden to celebrate a relative of mine's 90th birthday. It was a calm, but very nice, celebration together with him, his wife, and some of their closest relatives and friends. We all met up at my parent's place for a while, then we went to dinner, and then it continued at my parent's place until the evening. One of my most vivid memories from the day was another relative holding a short speech in the restaurant and then getting the entire restaurant to stand up and sing for the 90-year-old birthday-boy. All in all it was a memorable day, and one which I think was greatly appreciated by my 90-year-old relative.

My one regret was finding out that Sabaton was playing in Umeå at the same time as I was home, the day before my relative's 90'th birthday celebrations. I had missed that completely. Would have loved to go see hem play. Oh well, maybe some other time. I only have myself to blame for that, really.

Spring is really here now. Even though we saw snow falling as late as Tuesday last week. Still, there is that sense in the air that spring is finally here. :) It's a good feeling. Everything is starting to come to life again.

We're still finding carpenter ants in the house, although in smaller quantities than before and mostly around the bathroom. We're going to give it some time still, to let the poison work and see what happens. Hopefully we won't see any more of them soon.

That's all from me for this time.

See you all on the other side!

The ant war continues & Concert for a 90-year-old

Greetings from the other side.

A quick one today, as it is a very busy day.

Yesterday we had the same guy who had been here before regarding the ants, visit us again. We had removed the skirting boards ('golvlister' in Swedish. Blame Google if I got the translation into English wrong. ;) he he ) and he drilled holes into the walls behind them and pumped them full of ant-poison. Now, last time he was here we didn't have much luck getting to the ants. This time however, we had almost immediate success! 10 minutes after had had done that, we had about 10 dead ants on the floor. The following day we were up to about 30. We spent the night at my future in-laws place because my fiancee didn't quite feel like sleeping here with the poison in the walls and the ants crawling out of the walls. I can't say I blame her for that.

Hopefully we have been able to deal a decisive blow to the carpenter ants that had taken up residence in our home. Granted, there's no guarantee they won't come back later, but we are hoping they will at least be gone for now. We still have to wait and see how it goes though.

After some warmer days we now have somewhat cooler days again. Not 'cold' per se, but we do get temperatures that drop into the minuses at night.

As we are heading into the warmer periods of the year, Spring and Summer, I will start to see my work-load increase again. Both at work, and at home around the house. I have quite a few little projects I want to take care of this summer, so we will see how that goes. I'll probably write more about them in here as I get to them.

On the Sunday, last weekend, my fiancee and I, together with her parents, went to a concert at the city church which was held to celebrate the 90th anniversary of the school where my fiancee's brother works. He was there as well, playing the piano for several of the acts that were there, as well as performing a beautiful piano piece which he had composed himself. In all honesty he is probably one of the best pianists I have ever heard, and it was a pleasure hearing him play. All in all it was a good concert with a lot of good music.

That's about all for this time.

See you all on the other side!

Spring-time is a comin'

Greetings from the other side.

Life moves on at its own pace here in the countryside. Spring is coming, and you can really feel it in the air now. It's a really nice feeling! Spring does something to you, I think. It revitalizes you after the long, dark winter, and helps to lift your spirit up. We are moving towards warmer times, and it feels great! I think we all need to stop sometimes, take a deep breath and just enjoy the now. That goes for all seasons, but perhaps especially for spring. Take the time to enjoy the blue sky, the sounds of the birds coming back to life, the sunshine on the green pine and spruce trees, etc. It can really help give you some energy back. At least, that's how I feel. 

Yesterday, we went to a jumble sale ('loppis' in Swedish) at the school where my fiancee's brother works. They are tearing down the old buildings and building new, so they needed to get rid of a lot of stuff. There were a lot of things there, and a lot of people. It was difficult moving around to look at things. We managed to get a couple of items though. I was hoping to find a guitar, but unfortunately not. Oh well, maybe next time.

After we got home from that we sat outside in the sunshine for about an hour, drinking tea, eating a cinnamon bun, and talking. It was really nice just sitting on the stairs looking out over the fields and towards the forest. It was warm, the wind was calm, and it is moments like that that really make you appreciate living in the countryside.

Last week I helped out in a different place to where I normally work. It was only Monday and Tuesday, but that was about all I could do since I also had my regular job that I needed to do. It was good to see a new place, meet new people and see how they did things. I really enjoyed my time there.

I keep learning new skills since I moved here. Latest thing I have tried is that I have cut down my first two trees using a chainsaw. It's a lot of fun, and I do enjoy the physical work. I'm still very much a beginner at it, but I am learning. 

This will be all for this time.

See you all on the other side!