The ups and downs of life with a baby

Greetings from the other side.

Time passes very quickly these days. When our daughter was first born, and for the first few days thereafter, it seemed like every day was a week long and I lost track of time more times than I care to count. After that, however, time appears to have sped up again. Now it is just flying by, almost to the point where you can sort of say - if comparing to how it felt when she had first arrived - that every week is about a day long. That is a bit of an exaggeration, of course, but it does point to the fact that time seems to go by so quickly now. She is already 3-months-and-a-bit old, yet I have no idea where that time went!

She is healthy, and growing, which warms my fatherly heart to see. When she first arrived, she lost weight for a while, and we had to stay at the hospital where she was born a few days extra until they saw that she was putting on weight again. She is the first child for both my wife and for myself. While my wife had done the smart thing and read up on a lot of stuff beforehand - though in retrospect, all babies are different, and so not all that information has been as useful as we would have liked all the time - I never really did that. Then suddenly one day I had a newborn baby to take care of. Luckily the people at the hospital were very kind to show me the ropes on how to change diapers, etc.

As I have written about before, my wife had a difficult birthing experience, and she lost a lot of blood and had to be taken to surgery for stitches. She got to hold our daughter for a little while after she was born, but after that we didn't see her again for roughly 6 hours. Something which was very traumatic for her. After giving birth she has also suffered from postpartum depression, which, coupled with her past history of twice suffering from stress-related burnouts (utmattningssyndrom in Swedish), which she is also having symptoms of again, and being a highly sensitive person (HSP) has meant that she has not been able to enjoy motherhood as much as she would like.

At this point, I will point out that my wife has given me her full blessing to write about this, as she herself isn't trying to keep it a secret and has been very open about it.

I should also point out that she does love the baby and has bonded with her well, and she does do her best to look after her. She harbors fears that she isn't a good mother, or won't be able to take care of her daughter like she wants to if she falls deeper into the depression and exhaustion. Which, of course, is a vicious circle. She doesn't have the energy levels she should have, nor the resilience to sounds when the baby screams - which makes her stress-levels shoot through the roof. She has better days, and worse days, of course, regarding her energy levels and her depression issues. She always does her best though, and I am always doing my best to help as much as I can.

As a husband, it hurts seeing the woman you love go through these issues. You want to help, but you also know that there isn't much you can do other than to try to alleviate the stress by helping out as much as you can, and being there for her. I, myself, suffered from depression and anxiety issues for 13 years before crawling my way out of that particular issue, so I know a bit about what she is going through, even though I think each experience is unique in some ways. I wish she could get more help with her problems. It took a little over 2 months after our baby girl was born before she got to see a psychologist. She has another meeting with the psychologist planned. Though I admit she doesn't feel that it gives her much help, and she would prefer to get help in the form of cognitive therapy.

Luckily, our daughter has been good about sleeping at night - only waking up a couple of times and then sleeping 3-5 hours in-between waking up. This is especially good since my wife is a very light sleeper, and usually takes a long time falling asleep.

We've been blessed, and fortunate, to have her parents living close to us. They've been really good at helping out, which has been a real help for us. It has helped my alleviate some of the stress and burden from my wife, which has been invaluable. We can not thank them enough for all they do, even if it is just allowing our daughter to sleep in her stroller/pram at their house so my wife can rest for a bit.

Yesterday, we got our first snow of the winter here. There is now a thin blanket of snow on the ground - at least in large patches, as some of it has melted away already.

I am, as I said, doing my best to support my wife and take care of the baby, while also looking for a new job. Though part of me thinks that it might be a blessing in disguise that I haven't found a new job yet as it has allowed me to be home and help my wife now that she is going through these things. To be honest there is no place I would rather be at this point in time. I get to support my wife when she needs me the most, and I get to spend time with my daughter on a daily basis, and watch her grow and learn new things.

I think that will be enough from me for now. I hope you are all doing well out there, and remember to take care of each other! :)

See you all on the other side!

A beautiful winter's day

Greetings from the other side.

Today is an incredibly beautiful day outside. The ground is covered in snow, the sky is blue and it is essentially a very beautiful painting as you look out over the landscape. Each season is beautiful in its own way, but I think that a really clear winter's day with blue sky and lots of white snow is among the most beautiful. We had guests over today and I spent a good chunk of that time looking out the window at the beautiful wintry painting that nature had painted outside.

This winter has been very mild, and so we haven't really had the amount of snow outside that I had wish we'd have. I guess that is why you notice a day like today even more. I've been spending some time outside, shoveling snow, bringing in fire wood, etc. It's a pleasure working outside in beautiful weather like this. :)

In other news my future father-in-law celebrated his 70th birthday last weekend. It was a very fun event, with lots of good people and good food. :) His children, grandchildren and sons-in-law and me sang a song for him as well.

It was less fun to come home and find about 30 carpenter ants over the following 2 hours crawling around our living room and hall. We've had a guy over to look at the issue and take care of the problem. Unfortunately we don't know yet where they have their nest in the house, so we need to wait until we can find it. There is a problem with that though, and that is that it has been too cold so they haven't been very active since last weekend. So we'll have to wait until warmer weather comes along and they become active again before we can start locating their nest. We're hoping that will come soon.

As we understand it the nest in our house is probably a satellite-nest, with the main nest is located somewhere else in the vicinity. This means that unless we can find the main nest this spring/summer they might return. Wish us luck!

In more positive news, my fiancee and I are going away together with her sister and her husband this week on a bit of a skiing holiday. It's also to give my fiancee a chance to get away for a bit and rest up.

I think that'll be all for today. Feeling a bit tired so going to go rest my head a bit.

See you all on the other side!

New experiences and wedding planning

Greetings from the other side.

It's been about two weeks since my last post. I guess part of it is a busy schedule and other things to think about, as well as possibly having fallen out of the habit of writing a blog a bit. I'll try to get back into it though, as I do enjoy it. It's a good way to communicate, and to write down the thoughts I have.

This might turn out to be a short-ish post though, as I have other things to do as well today.

I had my first attempts at using a chainsaw yesterday, helping my father-in-law to cut up some logs. It was quite fun. I enjoy working outside like that. :) I also think it is a good lesson to learn for the future, how to use a chainsaw properly, seeing as how I am probably going to be using it in my work at some point in the future, and possibly in my personal life cutting up firewood, etc.

My fiancee and I also went out for a date yesterday. We went to a restaurant together, something we haven't done in a while. We had a pleasant evening, and the food was great. We discussed plans for the upcoming wedding, the wedding budget, and such. I've never been to that restaurant before, but I enjoyed the atmosphere there. It was a cozy and slightly rustic place.

Today, my fiancee has gone off to a wedding fair ("bröllops mässa" in Swedish. Yes... I actually had to look up the translation for that using Google. So if the translation is wrong, blame my Google searching skills) together with a friend to look for more inspiration. I'm looking forward to hearing what she's found when she gets back. :)

I've also spent some time with my father-in-law in the woods helping him cut down trees, cut them up and then move them. Granted, he was the one handling the chainsaw as I hadn't yet even had my first try at it yet. It was fun though.

Right now it is a bit icy outside. I'd much prefer it if the ice would be replaced by a bit of snow. There's very little snow on the ground today. Almost feels like spring is on it's way, but we're only in January still. Feels a bit odd for the season.

I think I will end this post here for today. I'll try to get back with another post as soon as I can.

Until then, take care.

See you all on the other side!

Welcome to the new year!

Greetings from the other side.

And thus I return from the holiday season, bringing wishes of well-being and happiness for you all. I hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas and New Years together with family, friends, loved ones, etc. I also hope that the new year will be a good one, for everyone on this blue marble in space that we live our lives upon. May this new year at least see the beginnings of an end to wars, abuse, poverty, loneliness, and all the other things that ails the world. At least that is what I hope for, and pray for.

The night before yesterday I sat up until 4 or 5 am playing a tabletop roleplaying game over the internet with my friends. It was so much fun, and I have missed it dearly. I don't get to do that too often these days. Then I ended up getting about 4 hours of sleep, before I got up because I had to be at work the next day. Granted, I didn't need to be there until 1 pm, but I had some other stuff to do before-hand as well. It is safe to say that I was pretty knackered by the end of the day. So early night for me last night and then I slept for about 10 hours. I guess my body needed it. It's good that the weekend is here now.

So, my last post was on December 20, which you can find here. Since then I have had my first Christmas here in Finland, and it was a fun and enjoyable time together with my fiancee and her family. Next year we will be celebrating Christmas with my family in Sweden, and then probably do an every-other-year kind of thing. Anyway, focus on this year, and this was the first time I had ever celebrated Christmas away from my family, so it was a bit of a strange feeling. In the end though, it was an enjoyable time surrounded by good people and a warm atmosphere. It is definitely something I am looking forward to do again another year! :)

Even the family dog, Bamse, got excited about Santa's visit and all the presents. Sadly I don't have a picture of him at that moment, but here's another picture of him taken on the same day at least:

He's a big Newfoundland boy, and at 10 years of age he is currently older than the average life-expectancy of dogs of his breed.

There were a few new food-items among the Christmas food that I hadn't tried before. I honestly don't know what to call most of them in English,so I won't attempt to. I will say however that I enjoyed everything that I tried.

Oh, and I also worked during Christmas service on Christmas Eve, as well as during mass on New Years Day.

Christmas Day was spent taking it easy and having lunch with my fiancee's parents. On Boxing Day (Annandag Jul in Swedish) we went to visit my fiancee's sister and her family.

In the days before New Years both my fiancee and her mother got ill. We had intended to celebrate New Years with my fiancee's parents, but in the end we went over for dinner and then went home again. My fiancee went to bed early and I stayed up chatting with friends online for a while. Luckily they are both feeling better now. Though her mother had to go to the hospital and was diagnosed with pneumonia, something which she has since then been going to the health clinic 3 times a day and gotten regular doses of antibiotics intravenously. My father-in-law and myself have luckily managed to stay healthy so far.

All in all it has been a good time, and I can look back to it with fond memories. Now we have a new year in front of us. Let's do the best we can out of it! :)

I wish you all a happy new year. May the new year bring happiness, peace and love to all.

Until next time.

See you all on the other side!

Advent Sunday weekend adventures

Greetings from the other side.

The past weekend was a calm one, and really relaxing. Today though, I am feeling a bit 'off' for some reason. Hopefully I won't come down with anything. A cold is the last thing I need right now.

We've had snowfall in the last few days. It started Saturday evening and on Sunday it was a full-blown snowstorm.

Saturday, my fiancee and I ate warm sandwiches (or is it called toast... my brain isn't fully functioning today, so am a bit uncertain) rice porrige for dinner with her parents. Then we went to spend some time with her friends and celebrate Little Christmas (lilla Jul in Swedish. I wrote a bit about it in a previous blog entry which you can find here). It had started snowing for the drive home though, and the winds had begun to pick up.

On Sunday the snowfall and winds were even worse. At one point we had 26 m/s winds and heavy snowfall. The power went out about half-an-hour before the Advent Sunday service was scheduled to start at church. We managed though. It actually turned out quite nice with no lights and only the lit candles to light up the church. Very atmospheric. There was a children's choir there to sing and an adult one too.

After church we went back to my fiancee's parents place for a bit of lunch. After a while her sister and her husband and youngest son came by as well for a visit to see the two new kittens before we all headed over to celebrate my fiancee's niece's 9th birthday.

There is something special about Advent and Christmas music, I think. For some reason it always feels more atmospheric. Granted, that could partly be because you only really listen to it for about a month every year. Still though, I like it and it is always a special time for me. This year I will be spending Christmas and New Years here in Finland with my fiancee's family. I am looking forward to it and towards seeing how they celebrate. I will however also miss being with my family back home in Sweden, of course. This is the first time that I am not celebrating with them, so it will definitely feel a bit different. They will be in my thoughts though.

See you all on the other side!

A mix of Seasonal things & Life

Greetings from the other side!

We still have snow on the ground over here. Something which I didn't think would last this long. I was fully expecting it to have melted away by now. It even snowed a bit more last night. Though we have warmer weather now, so it might still melt away before the week is over. I am kind of silently hoping that it will still be white outside come Advent Sunday (1:a Advent, in Swedish).

Now, Advent Sunday happens on November 27th this year. The day before that, there is a custom to celebrate what is known here as "Little Christmas" (lilla Jul). It is not a major thing, and I personally don't recall having ever encountered it back home in Sweden (though I know it exists there as well). As far as I have been able to understand it, "little Christmas" is most common among families that have children. One tradition associated with it is the tradition that a secret "Santa" throws presents in through the front door and then disappears before anyone finds out who it was. I can definitely see why that would be exciting for the kids in the family. :)

It has been a fairly calm week for me, but at the same time it feels like it has just flown by and like I haven't had the time to do all the things I wanted to do. Then again, time has flown by ever since I moved here to Finland. I guess it is a good measure for how much I enjoy it here.

Last Sunday was Father's Day, and we celebrated it by having my fiance's parents over for lunch, and then we went over to them, together with my fiance's brother and his family, and had dinner there. Both occasions were really nice. I had, of course, already called my own dad earlier in the day and congratulated him on Father's Day as well. Am looking forward to visiting my parents in a few weeks time. :)

On a sadder note, something is wrong with my new phone. For some reason, when people call me they some times cannot hear me while I hear them perfectly on the other end. Sometimes hanging up and calling me back can help, but not always. On those occasions I have to call them up for them to be able to hear me. Other times they hear me, but then the sound keeps coming and going for them, i.e. they hear me and then they don't, then they hear me again and then they don't. It's annoying, so I will have to take the phone in to where I got it from and ask them about it. The phone itself is only a few weeks old, so it shouldn't have these issues.

That will be all for today. It has turned out to be a shorter post than I thought at the start of it, but that is just the way it is. Hopefully I will be able to write something longer next time.

See you all on the other side!

Winter-clad greetings!

Greetings from the other side!

Ok. Time for my second attempt at this. I sat down to write my blog post and had gotten a fair bit into it when my laptop suddenly decided to erase everything I had written. Sadly I had not remembered to save it before hand. Not that that would really have mattered as the blog auto-saved just after everything was deleted so it was gone anyway. Oh well.

It has been almost a week now since my last blog post. It's been a busy week and I haven't really had the energy to sit down and write blog entries in that time. Today however is a day of rest of relaxation for me so I figured I would see if I could write something. Well, when I say "rest and relaxation" I neglect to mention that so far today I have already been to the chiropractor about my knee, been grocery shopping and ran some errands with my fiancee, and been called out on a short, job-related errand. Now though, I am back home and hopefully the rest of the day will be calm. Normally, doing things like that in a day is no big deal, but with my knee being a bit sore after the visit to the chiropractor, it's a slightly different story.

My knee has been getting better, but is still a bit stiff and swollen, so I went to the chiropractor to have a look at it. He treated it and for the next week or so I'll need to take it easy and be careful with it. I'll still be able to do my job, but I do need to take it a bit easy so I don't twist the knee or strain it excessively. Hopefully it will be completely well in about a week or two. Keeping my fingers crossed.

The first snow of winter has arrived here now. From talking to relatives and friends over on the Swedish side I know that they have been getting quite a lot of snow lately. I know that my dad has been shoveling snow quite a lot. We, however, have had some cold temperatures, but no snow. Until now. It's not huge amounts, but there's maybe a decimeter of snow. From what we've heard the weather should be getting a bit warmer again this week so we might see some rain and the snow will most likely melt away.

I am still keeping out hope that we will get a white Christmas this year though.

I have also been working a bit on the tabletop RPG world building project. The map-making has been at a bit of a stand-still, but I have been getting a bit of writing done, which I am pleased about. It is a good vent to have after a long day of work. Especially since I have a physical job it feels nice to exercise the brain instead from time to time. :)

I think that is enough for now.

See you all on the other side!

All Saint's Day

Greetings from the other side.

Happy All Saint's Day to those who celebrate it. Yesterday evening, my fiancee and I went to the local graveyard together with her parents to, like many others, light candles in remembrance of loved ones and relatives who have passed. It was dark outside, and the graveyard was lit up only by the candles that people had put on the graves. It was very beautiful, and gave a sort of serene feeling inside. Even though it was a bit chilly outside, the beauty of it sort of made you warm on the inside anyway.

I have always liked All Saint's Day. It, much more than Halloween, was a part of my life as I grew up. I guess that is why it, with its quite remembrance and honoring of those who have died, hold a much more special place in my heart than Halloween ever has or will. I respect other people enjoying it, and it does seem like fun, but I guess since I didn't grow up with it it doesn't mean as much to me.

Today my fiancee and I, together with her parents, have sung in the local church with a temporary choir that was put together for All Saint's Day specifically. It was a nice ceremony, with remembering all those in our parish who have passed away in the past year. A candle being lit for each one, while the pastor reads their names out loud. I am happy I was able to be part of that, and I hope that our songs will have given those there some comfort.

The weather is beautiful outside, though a bit chilly. Currently it is -3,3 degrees Celsius, so not that bad but still starting to get a bit chilly. I am thinking I might go for a walk later if my knee is ok with it. It feels good to be able to take walks again. I've missed it when my knee-issues have been getting in the way.

Work has been going well. I just need to remember to let my knee rest from time to time and to think about how I lift and carry things, etc. It is quite enjoyable working outside this time of year. It is one of the things that I like about my job, that I get to work outside and get fresh air. In the winter time, however, there will be less work for me to do outside, so most of my work will take place indoors instead. Which, depending on how cold it gets outside, might be a good thing.

Now I am going to rest for a bit.

See you all on the other side!

Halloween and life

Greetings from the other side.

Halloween is now upon us. Everywhere you look online there have been Halloween sales going on for he past week or two, and 'spooky' images and images of pumpkins carved in various ways have been popping up everywhere. I have to confess though I have never been that much into Halloween. I guess it is because it wasn't really a part of my childhood as such, I didn't really grow up trick-or-treating, and I don't really remember it being a 'thing' in general where I grew up until I was too old to really go trick-or-treating, etc. I get the idea behind it and the draw of it, but I just don't really feel very much about it when it comes down to it. I do think that I am probably a minority in that these days, which is fine. I don't mind Halloween as I think it is probably a fun holiday for kids, and grown-ups get a chance to be creative with their decorations. :)

I realize that I might sound like a really boring person, but hopefully I made it clear that I don't mind Halloween. All I am saying is that it isn't something that I grew up with so it doesn't really hold any special place in my heart. I can understand why others enjoy it though, but it has never been a big part of my life.

The sky is blue outside the windows for the second day running. It is beautiful. The air is cold and crisp as well. :) I really wish my knee was well so I could go out for a walk, but in the long run it is probably best that I stay inside and rest it until it is well again. I hope that will be soon because after something like four weeks I am getting a bit tired of it being like this. Granted, it has been better at times and worse at times, so it hasn't been all bad all the time. Which I am happy for. I just wish that it would go to being good ALL the time soon so I could start doing the things I want to do again, and help out more around the house and everything that goes into that.

Winter tires are finally on the car now, thanks to my father-in-law. I would have done it myself but because of my knee I really couldn't. He was also with me yesterday when I was working at a memorial service to help me out so I wouldn't strain my knee more than necessary. I am really thankful to him for that, and so is my knee. The knee was sore afterwards, but not as sore as it could have been. When we were driving there it was actually a bit slippery out on the roadway, and at one point the tires spun a bit. It wasn't too bad though, and we got there in one piece without any scares. I guess winter is on its way now. I have been told by a couple of people that they are expecting this winter to be really cold and bad. What I guess in Sweden we would call a 'varga vinter' (wolf's winter). We will see though. I remember last time I saw someone promise a "varga vinter" (the newspapers that time), while I was still living back home in Sweden, it turned out to be a really mild winter instead.

I think that's all for now. Time for me to go stretch my legs a bit. Need to still keep moving my legs from time to time so the knee doesn't get too stiff. I just need to be careful when I do it.

See you all on the other side!

Autumnal reflections & the day after before

Greetings from the other side.

This might have to be another short one. Brain is still a bit fried.

Today kinda feels a bit like 'the day after'. The day after my first day back at work. The day after my birthday. It is also the first day of being one year older. Another day closer to my parents coming to visit. All in all though, it has been a good day. I was able to get a lot of things done today at work that needed to be done and, as has started becoming the norm over here now, I have met and talked to some more really nice people.

The sky is still cloudy outside, and there is that autumnal chill in the air that kind of tells you that winter is around the corner. The leaves are falling from the trees and gathering in great, big carpets of red and yellow on the ground. Autumn is a very beautiful season. It is a great time for stopping, taking in a deep breath of cold autumn air, and look at the beautiful scenery. Sadly the autumn has claimed many leaves from the trees now, and some of them stand almost completely barren at this point. At least where I live. At the same time there are other trees who still have almost all of their leaves remaining, some even carrying some green leaves still.

There is something meditative about this time of year. Looking at the colours and feeling the crisp, cold air, can really spark your creative side to life. It can also be calming and soothing for the mind, and the soul. It is as if you are given one last vibrant display before winter comes.

There is something almost magical about autumn, I think. It is filled with vibrant colours, and that silence that feels so typical of both autumn and winter. As if nature itself is going to sleep, in dreaming slumber waiting for spring to arrive once more. Every season has its charms, I think. :)

See you all on the other side!