The ups and downs of life with a baby

Greetings from the other side.

Time passes very quickly these days. When our daughter was first born, and for the first few days thereafter, it seemed like every day was a week long and I lost track of time more times than I care to count. After that, however, time appears to have sped up again. Now it is just flying by, almost to the point where you can sort of say - if comparing to how it felt when she had first arrived - that every week is about a day long. That is a bit of an exaggeration, of course, but it does point to the fact that time seems to go by so quickly now. She is already 3-months-and-a-bit old, yet I have no idea where that time went!

She is healthy, and growing, which warms my fatherly heart to see. When she first arrived, she lost weight for a while, and we had to stay at the hospital where she was born a few days extra until they saw that she was putting on weight again. She is the first child for both my wife and for myself. While my wife had done the smart thing and read up on a lot of stuff beforehand - though in retrospect, all babies are different, and so not all that information has been as useful as we would have liked all the time - I never really did that. Then suddenly one day I had a newborn baby to take care of. Luckily the people at the hospital were very kind to show me the ropes on how to change diapers, etc.

As I have written about before, my wife had a difficult birthing experience, and she lost a lot of blood and had to be taken to surgery for stitches. She got to hold our daughter for a little while after she was born, but after that we didn't see her again for roughly 6 hours. Something which was very traumatic for her. After giving birth she has also suffered from postpartum depression, which, coupled with her past history of twice suffering from stress-related burnouts (utmattningssyndrom in Swedish), which she is also having symptoms of again, and being a highly sensitive person (HSP) has meant that she has not been able to enjoy motherhood as much as she would like.

At this point, I will point out that my wife has given me her full blessing to write about this, as she herself isn't trying to keep it a secret and has been very open about it.

I should also point out that she does love the baby and has bonded with her well, and she does do her best to look after her. She harbors fears that she isn't a good mother, or won't be able to take care of her daughter like she wants to if she falls deeper into the depression and exhaustion. Which, of course, is a vicious circle. She doesn't have the energy levels she should have, nor the resilience to sounds when the baby screams - which makes her stress-levels shoot through the roof. She has better days, and worse days, of course, regarding her energy levels and her depression issues. She always does her best though, and I am always doing my best to help as much as I can.

As a husband, it hurts seeing the woman you love go through these issues. You want to help, but you also know that there isn't much you can do other than to try to alleviate the stress by helping out as much as you can, and being there for her. I, myself, suffered from depression and anxiety issues for 13 years before crawling my way out of that particular issue, so I know a bit about what she is going through, even though I think each experience is unique in some ways. I wish she could get more help with her problems. It took a little over 2 months after our baby girl was born before she got to see a psychologist. She has another meeting with the psychologist planned. Though I admit she doesn't feel that it gives her much help, and she would prefer to get help in the form of cognitive therapy.

Luckily, our daughter has been good about sleeping at night - only waking up a couple of times and then sleeping 3-5 hours in-between waking up. This is especially good since my wife is a very light sleeper, and usually takes a long time falling asleep.

We've been blessed, and fortunate, to have her parents living close to us. They've been really good at helping out, which has been a real help for us. It has helped my alleviate some of the stress and burden from my wife, which has been invaluable. We can not thank them enough for all they do, even if it is just allowing our daughter to sleep in her stroller/pram at their house so my wife can rest for a bit.

Yesterday, we got our first snow of the winter here. There is now a thin blanket of snow on the ground - at least in large patches, as some of it has melted away already.

I am, as I said, doing my best to support my wife and take care of the baby, while also looking for a new job. Though part of me thinks that it might be a blessing in disguise that I haven't found a new job yet as it has allowed me to be home and help my wife now that she is going through these things. To be honest there is no place I would rather be at this point in time. I get to support my wife when she needs me the most, and I get to spend time with my daughter on a daily basis, and watch her grow and learn new things.

I think that will be enough from me for now. I hope you are all doing well out there, and remember to take care of each other! :)

See you all on the other side!

My first Easter in Finland

Greetings from the other side.

My first Easter on Finnish soil is coming to an end, and I have to say it's been a good experience.

But let's start from the beginning.

As I wrote in my previous post about how I worked on Maundy Thursday, I won't go into that anymore in this post.

The Friday was spent in a calm manner. We didn't really get up to much, although I did get a lot of writing done which felt good. I've been slacking off a bit on my writing lately, so it has felt good to get back to it and being creative again.

We also had my future in-laws over for some Easter 'fika'. Though, again, I wrote about that in my previous post, so if you want to read about it you can find it here.

In the evening, after we had had dinner, my fiancee introduced me to something called "pasha", which you can see in the image below:

Granted, as I understand it, this wasn't the normal kind of pasha that they normally make, and enjoy, as that one contains lemon, something which I can't have. Never the less it still tasted really good, I thought, so I hope she will make it again some time. As I understand it, the pasha originates from Russia.

Saturday didn't get off to a great start. Looking out the window at all the snow that had fallen during the night.

Not much to do about it though. In the afternoon, my fiancee and I went over to her parents place, where we met up with her siblings and their families as well for an Easter bonfire - where we grilled some sausages over the remains of the fire - and a good time. My fiancee's sister and her husband also brought along some friends, a young couple from Afghanistan and their little baby.

On Sunday we went to church. It was nice, as always, but sadly not very many people there.

After church my fiancee and I went to her parents for lunch, and this beautiful and very tasty creation that her father had made:

In the evening we all went to a christian concert in the city church, where my fiancee's brother and nephew were performing as well. It was a good way to end the day, I think.

Time for me to sign out for today. The sun is shining and it is my last day off before heading back to work. I think I might head out for a walk, or something.

See you all on the other side!

A beautiful winter's day

Greetings from the other side.

Today is an incredibly beautiful day outside. The ground is covered in snow, the sky is blue and it is essentially a very beautiful painting as you look out over the landscape. Each season is beautiful in its own way, but I think that a really clear winter's day with blue sky and lots of white snow is among the most beautiful. We had guests over today and I spent a good chunk of that time looking out the window at the beautiful wintry painting that nature had painted outside.

This winter has been very mild, and so we haven't really had the amount of snow outside that I had wish we'd have. I guess that is why you notice a day like today even more. I've been spending some time outside, shoveling snow, bringing in fire wood, etc. It's a pleasure working outside in beautiful weather like this. :)

In other news my future father-in-law celebrated his 70th birthday last weekend. It was a very fun event, with lots of good people and good food. :) His children, grandchildren and sons-in-law and me sang a song for him as well.

It was less fun to come home and find about 30 carpenter ants over the following 2 hours crawling around our living room and hall. We've had a guy over to look at the issue and take care of the problem. Unfortunately we don't know yet where they have their nest in the house, so we need to wait until we can find it. There is a problem with that though, and that is that it has been too cold so they haven't been very active since last weekend. So we'll have to wait until warmer weather comes along and they become active again before we can start locating their nest. We're hoping that will come soon.

As we understand it the nest in our house is probably a satellite-nest, with the main nest is located somewhere else in the vicinity. This means that unless we can find the main nest this spring/summer they might return. Wish us luck!

In more positive news, my fiancee and I are going away together with her sister and her husband this week on a bit of a skiing holiday. It's also to give my fiancee a chance to get away for a bit and rest up.

I think that'll be all for today. Feeling a bit tired so going to go rest my head a bit.

See you all on the other side!

Advent time

Greetings from the other side.

It's been a week or so since my last update here. Though I suppose due to the season I've had other things occupying my mind.

With the help of my father-in-law I have gotten 3 Christmas trees for my employer, and decorated two of them with lights. The third one is going inside the church, and it isn't my job to decorate that one. The two that I HAVE put lights on though, have been fighting me a bit. After some issues we finally got the one outside the church to light up, which was a good feeling. The one at the cemetery still hasn't managed to light up though, and I am not sure what the issue is. We have tried the lamps and they all light up individually, but when we connect the whole thing it doesn't light up at all. Only thing we can think of right now is that one of the lamps isn't of the correct type, so it works individually but not together with the others. I will try out that theory as soon as possible.

Last Saturday we went to celebrate my fiancee's brother-in-law on his birthday. It was enjoyable and the food was great! :) I think someone mentioned there were something like 80 people there to congratulate him on his day. Good to see so many people come to celebrate a really good man. He had made his own birthday cake as well, and salmon soup, for all the guests.

Today is Finlands independence day. It marks 99 years since they became an independent nation, having belonged to Russia before that, and Sweden before that. Technically you have a day off from work today, but I went in to work this morning to raise the flag. I'll be going back later to bring it down again at sundown. Next year will mark the centennial of Finland's independence, and I expect there to be massive celebrations going on. It is a big deal after all. :)

We have snow on the ground, albeit not a lot. While there is a white blanket on the ground, you can still see tall grass sticking through in places. The last couple of days there has also been ice under the snow, making things a bit more 'interesting'.

In a way it feels like there has been a lot going on, but at the moment I can't think of anything else. That is kind of a strange feeling, I have to admit. Oh well, I am sure if I think of anything else, I can always write about it later instead. :)

I hope that you all are having a wonderful Advent, and that the Christmas preparations are going well. My thoughts also go out to all those who are alone this holiday season, and to those who try to do something for these people. I wish you all the best.

Until next time my friends.

See you all on the other side!