My first Father's Day - a day to remember

Greetings from the other side.

Yesterday I got to celebrate my first ever father's day. Coincidentally, it was also my father-in-law's 50th father's day. I figured out that when, or perhaps "if", I get to celebrate my 50th father's day, I will be close to 90 years old when that day comes. I have had my first child later than he had his though.

To celebrate your first father's day is surely something very special, and something you will always remember. However, yesterday will stay in my memory not just because of what day it was, but also because of how it turned out.

The day started with me waking up to the lovely, and very excited, sounds from my wife in the living room as she was talking to the baby. It turns out that our little, soon to be 4 months old, girl had managed to roll over on to her stomach, on her own, for the very first time. What better father's day gift can a dad really get? :) So the day started off really well, with everyone in a happy mood.

At lunch-time we went over to my in-laws, where we met up with my wife's brother and his family, for father's day lunch. Everyone was in a merry mood, and my daughter was lying on the floor in her babygym (it has a built in mat for her to lie on), making happy sounds and talking away at the things dangling above her head. Not long after lunch was done, it was time for her to take an afternoon nap. Everything went well, and she soon fell asleep.

Fast forward not even an hour and she wakes up screaming and inconsolable. For the next 1-2 hours (my conception of time during this is a bit blurry) she screamed and acted like her stomach was aching. I should also point out that she hadn't, at this point, had a poop for about a week. I have heard that this is normal for babies, but before this time she had generally pooped every day, so this was completely new to us. Anyway, my wife - who is suffering from postpartum depression, anxiety, etc (more information about that in this post) - was incredibly distraught by the whole thing, but she did her best to keep herself together for our daughter's sake. Luckily there were others there to help as well, including her mother and sister, both of whom we owe a great debt of gratitude for being there for us yesterday. After a while, when nothing we did seemed to help, my wife called the hospital, and they told us that if it didn't get better we should come in and they'll take a look at her. Not long after, we were in a scramble to get the car ready, baby dressed and into the car, etc. Then we raced off to the hospital. My wife's sister came along, which was a good comfort for my wife.

Luckily, while we were in the car, the little one stopped screaming and seemed fairly content. This continued while we were at the hospital, and she hasn't started screaming like that again since either. At the hospital they weren't really able to find any issues with her, nor any cause of why she had been screaming her lungs out like she was. They told us that it is normal for babies to go 2 weeks without pooping as well. We swung by the pharmacy on the way back home and picked up something for the baby, in case she ever has stomach issues again.

Seeing your baby cry like that really cuts like a knife in your heart, and it was especially difficult for my wife given how she is feeling. She did good though, and I am very proud of her for keeping it together as she did despite all the stress it caused her. For my wife and I, as I imagine it would be for any parent, it was very difficult to hear our child scream like that, and feeling helpless to do anything about it when nothing seems to work. It just tears at something deep inside you.

Coming home from the hospital, it was a mixed sense of relief that it seemed to be over, and a fear that it would happen again. Luckily it hasn't. She seems to be doing ok now, which is a huge relief for us. My wife and I are left a bit shaken, but happy that she is ok.

See you all on the other side!

The ups and downs of life with a baby

Greetings from the other side.

Time passes very quickly these days. When our daughter was first born, and for the first few days thereafter, it seemed like every day was a week long and I lost track of time more times than I care to count. After that, however, time appears to have sped up again. Now it is just flying by, almost to the point where you can sort of say - if comparing to how it felt when she had first arrived - that every week is about a day long. That is a bit of an exaggeration, of course, but it does point to the fact that time seems to go by so quickly now. She is already 3-months-and-a-bit old, yet I have no idea where that time went!

She is healthy, and growing, which warms my fatherly heart to see. When she first arrived, she lost weight for a while, and we had to stay at the hospital where she was born a few days extra until they saw that she was putting on weight again. She is the first child for both my wife and for myself. While my wife had done the smart thing and read up on a lot of stuff beforehand - though in retrospect, all babies are different, and so not all that information has been as useful as we would have liked all the time - I never really did that. Then suddenly one day I had a newborn baby to take care of. Luckily the people at the hospital were very kind to show me the ropes on how to change diapers, etc.

As I have written about before, my wife had a difficult birthing experience, and she lost a lot of blood and had to be taken to surgery for stitches. She got to hold our daughter for a little while after she was born, but after that we didn't see her again for roughly 6 hours. Something which was very traumatic for her. After giving birth she has also suffered from postpartum depression, which, coupled with her past history of twice suffering from stress-related burnouts (utmattningssyndrom in Swedish), which she is also having symptoms of again, and being a highly sensitive person (HSP) has meant that she has not been able to enjoy motherhood as much as she would like.

At this point, I will point out that my wife has given me her full blessing to write about this, as she herself isn't trying to keep it a secret and has been very open about it.

I should also point out that she does love the baby and has bonded with her well, and she does do her best to look after her. She harbors fears that she isn't a good mother, or won't be able to take care of her daughter like she wants to if she falls deeper into the depression and exhaustion. Which, of course, is a vicious circle. She doesn't have the energy levels she should have, nor the resilience to sounds when the baby screams - which makes her stress-levels shoot through the roof. She has better days, and worse days, of course, regarding her energy levels and her depression issues. She always does her best though, and I am always doing my best to help as much as I can.

As a husband, it hurts seeing the woman you love go through these issues. You want to help, but you also know that there isn't much you can do other than to try to alleviate the stress by helping out as much as you can, and being there for her. I, myself, suffered from depression and anxiety issues for 13 years before crawling my way out of that particular issue, so I know a bit about what she is going through, even though I think each experience is unique in some ways. I wish she could get more help with her problems. It took a little over 2 months after our baby girl was born before she got to see a psychologist. She has another meeting with the psychologist planned. Though I admit she doesn't feel that it gives her much help, and she would prefer to get help in the form of cognitive therapy.

Luckily, our daughter has been good about sleeping at night - only waking up a couple of times and then sleeping 3-5 hours in-between waking up. This is especially good since my wife is a very light sleeper, and usually takes a long time falling asleep.

We've been blessed, and fortunate, to have her parents living close to us. They've been really good at helping out, which has been a real help for us. It has helped my alleviate some of the stress and burden from my wife, which has been invaluable. We can not thank them enough for all they do, even if it is just allowing our daughter to sleep in her stroller/pram at their house so my wife can rest for a bit.

Yesterday, we got our first snow of the winter here. There is now a thin blanket of snow on the ground - at least in large patches, as some of it has melted away already.

I am, as I said, doing my best to support my wife and take care of the baby, while also looking for a new job. Though part of me thinks that it might be a blessing in disguise that I haven't found a new job yet as it has allowed me to be home and help my wife now that she is going through these things. To be honest there is no place I would rather be at this point in time. I get to support my wife when she needs me the most, and I get to spend time with my daughter on a daily basis, and watch her grow and learn new things.

I think that will be enough from me for now. I hope you are all doing well out there, and remember to take care of each other! :)

See you all on the other side!

Long time, no see - from a dad-to-be.

Greetings from the other side.

It's the height of summer, the warmth is melting everything away, especially my pregnant wife. A bit of rain wouldn't hurt, and perhaps a cooler day or two, in this heat-wave we are currently experiencing. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a warm, sunny, day as much as the next person. But at least for my wife's, and the trees and plants around, a bit of cooling rain would be nice.

Oh well, we'll take it as it comes. One day at a time. Which, incidentally, is how we are dealing with the pregnancy as well.  We are now one week into that magical 4-week period, centered around the expected delivery date, during which the baby can arrive any day really. For both of us, this is our first child, and it's both nervous and exciting all at the same time! :) I will admit though, that it is mostly exciting. We both can't wait for this new member of our family to arrive!

Becoming a dad for the first time in my life, is a somewhat surreal experience. I have never met this new little person that will soon come into my life, yet I have known for a very long time that I love it dearly. To feel such love for, and connection to, someone you have never met before, feels a bit strange. At the same time, it is also a source of worrying. Thoughts such as "will I be a good dad", "have we forgotten anything ahead of the birth", and even things like "how do I change a diaper again??" some times races through my head. Now, to some of you, that last bit might make you smile a little, but the cold, hard, truth is that I have never changed a diaper on a baby before. I've never had to. I am sure it is very easy, and that all will go smoothly, but if you haven't done something before, it might make you a bit nervous until you have tried. As an added note, I should probably say that it is not like it is keeping me awake at night, or anything like that. None of the above things are. Though it can pop into my head on occasion.

In the end, all I can hope for is that we have prepared enough, and wait for the baby to arrive. I know they say that you can never fully prepare for what's to come - the sleepless nights, the stress, etc - but as long as we have everything we need for the baby's arrival, we'll deal with everything else as it comes.

I am hoping I can start writing more regularly in the blog again now. It felt good to sit down to write on it again, so here's hoping I can keep it up! :)

So until we meet again my friends.

See you all on the other side!

Spring-time is a comin'

Greetings from the other side.

Life moves on at its own pace here in the countryside. Spring is coming, and you can really feel it in the air now. It's a really nice feeling! Spring does something to you, I think. It revitalizes you after the long, dark winter, and helps to lift your spirit up. We are moving towards warmer times, and it feels great! I think we all need to stop sometimes, take a deep breath and just enjoy the now. That goes for all seasons, but perhaps especially for spring. Take the time to enjoy the blue sky, the sounds of the birds coming back to life, the sunshine on the green pine and spruce trees, etc. It can really help give you some energy back. At least, that's how I feel. 

Yesterday, we went to a jumble sale ('loppis' in Swedish) at the school where my fiancee's brother works. They are tearing down the old buildings and building new, so they needed to get rid of a lot of stuff. There were a lot of things there, and a lot of people. It was difficult moving around to look at things. We managed to get a couple of items though. I was hoping to find a guitar, but unfortunately not. Oh well, maybe next time.

After we got home from that we sat outside in the sunshine for about an hour, drinking tea, eating a cinnamon bun, and talking. It was really nice just sitting on the stairs looking out over the fields and towards the forest. It was warm, the wind was calm, and it is moments like that that really make you appreciate living in the countryside.

Last week I helped out in a different place to where I normally work. It was only Monday and Tuesday, but that was about all I could do since I also had my regular job that I needed to do. It was good to see a new place, meet new people and see how they did things. I really enjoyed my time there.

I keep learning new skills since I moved here. Latest thing I have tried is that I have cut down my first two trees using a chainsaw. It's a lot of fun, and I do enjoy the physical work. I'm still very much a beginner at it, but I am learning. 

This will be all for this time.

See you all on the other side!

Good times & hindsight

Greetings from the other side.

Last week was a bit of a mixed bag for me. The week before we had been away, together with my fiancee and her sister and brother-in-law, to a place called Ukkohalla on a ski trip.  The weather was overcast and the snow messed with our skis a bit, but other than that it was a thoroughly enjoyable trip. When it came to the skiing we did the cross-country variant. It had been years since I last did any kind of skiing, and it was a bit of a strange experience being back on a pair of skis again. It was fun though, and I think I ended up doing something like 13 km in total. Compared to my fiancee's sister and her husband that was nothing though. I think they ended up doing something in the region of 86 km in total.

Among the first things that happened after we got there was that I managed to 'wreck' the bed. It's not as bad as it sounds though. Basically, I was trying to move the bed slightly to the side when it suddenly collapsed. It turned out that, unbeknownst to me, by moving it I had disturbed an upright-standing logg underneath it that was holding the length-wise running beam in place, which in turn supported all the lateral-running supports underneath the bed. I'm not sure if that description paints a good enough picture of what I mean, but I hope it does as my tired brain is currently struggling a bit to think of a better explanation.

Anyway, we managed to fix the bed fairly quickly again.

The trip to Ukkohalla was a lot of fun, and it is certainly something I would definitely do again some day. It was nice to get away for a few days and spend some time with my fiancee and her sister and brother-in-law.

In Sweden we have a saying that translates roughly to "Away is good, but home is best" (Sv: Borta bra men hemma bäst). As fun as it had been to be away for a few days, it still felt good to come back home and sleep in your own bed again.

However, starting the next day I wasn't feeling too well. I felt really stressed and tired, and not really myself. It's been a long time since I had felt that high levels of stress, and seemingly for no apparent reason. It took me most of the following week to get back to normal again. Hopefully that was a one-off thing, but I would really like to know what caused it. Maybe it was a lot of little things that just came together to cause it? I honestly have no idea. Whatever it was, it continued to influence my week though.

I am so glad to be passed that now. Hopefully it was just a one-off thing.

Yesterday I was pretty nervous though. I was set to work at a memorial service. Now, I have done that before, but this was the first time I was going to do it completely on my own. All sorts of thoughts were flowing through my head, and I was trying to remember everything I needed to think about and prepare. I'd lie if I said I wasn't nervous though. Looking back at it now however, I would say that I did a good job. So maybe I didn't need to be so nervous about it, but that's the benefit of hindsight and all that.

Yesterday evening, we had a couple of friends over and we all sat down and watched Melodifestivalen. which is the Swedish competition that decides which entry we send to the Eurovision Song Contest. Did the right song win? I have no clue. I guess we'll find that out when the actual ESC competition is held. After that it is really down to personal taste whether you liked it or not. The main thing though was that we had a great time yesterday evening, together with good friends. We laughed a lot and I think I needed that having been so nervous about the memorial service job earlier in the day.

It's been two week since I was able to really do any world-building or writing, but yesterday evening after our friends had left, I started sitting down with it again and it was such a good feeling. I've missed it more than I thought I did, so being back at it felt really good.

Until next time.

See you all on the other side!

New experiences and wedding planning

Greetings from the other side.

It's been about two weeks since my last post. I guess part of it is a busy schedule and other things to think about, as well as possibly having fallen out of the habit of writing a blog a bit. I'll try to get back into it though, as I do enjoy it. It's a good way to communicate, and to write down the thoughts I have.

This might turn out to be a short-ish post though, as I have other things to do as well today.

I had my first attempts at using a chainsaw yesterday, helping my father-in-law to cut up some logs. It was quite fun. I enjoy working outside like that. :) I also think it is a good lesson to learn for the future, how to use a chainsaw properly, seeing as how I am probably going to be using it in my work at some point in the future, and possibly in my personal life cutting up firewood, etc.

My fiancee and I also went out for a date yesterday. We went to a restaurant together, something we haven't done in a while. We had a pleasant evening, and the food was great. We discussed plans for the upcoming wedding, the wedding budget, and such. I've never been to that restaurant before, but I enjoyed the atmosphere there. It was a cozy and slightly rustic place.

Today, my fiancee has gone off to a wedding fair ("bröllops mässa" in Swedish. Yes... I actually had to look up the translation for that using Google. So if the translation is wrong, blame my Google searching skills) together with a friend to look for more inspiration. I'm looking forward to hearing what she's found when she gets back. :)

I've also spent some time with my father-in-law in the woods helping him cut down trees, cut them up and then move them. Granted, he was the one handling the chainsaw as I hadn't yet even had my first try at it yet. It was fun though.

Right now it is a bit icy outside. I'd much prefer it if the ice would be replaced by a bit of snow. There's very little snow on the ground today. Almost feels like spring is on it's way, but we're only in January still. Feels a bit odd for the season.

I think I will end this post here for today. I'll try to get back with another post as soon as I can.

Until then, take care.

See you all on the other side!

Advent Sunday is a coming

Greetings from the other side.

As Advent Sunday approaches, the Christmas spirit is on the rise in this household. My fiancee has made gingerbread cookies, and Christmas music has slowly started to filter into the ambient atmosphere. Both of us are people who love this time of year. We have even got a bit of snow and frost outside today, which was a pleasant surprise to wake up to this morning. It isn't much, and you can still see blades of grass sticking out through the snow cover, but it is better than nothing. :)

I got calendar from Sweden in the mail today from EFS. For those who don't know, EFS is an independent organisation within the Church of Sweden, which focuses on missionary work, voluntary work, and every-day faith (according to the website. They can say it much better than I can. Though I had to translate it from Swedish, so hopefully my translation is acceptable). I spent two years at an EFS church in Umeå, Carlskyrkan, doing work-training, and even more time as a volunteer. It was a really good time in my life and I have a lot of fond memories. I met so many really good and wonderful people there, including the people I worked with. I am really thankful to all of them for giving me the opportunity to be there, and for receiving me with open arms! :)

I am happy that the calendar has arrived, because we were talking just the other day, my fiancee and I, how we needed one. :) It is now hanging on the wall above my desk at home.

On Sunday, which is Advent Sunday, I am scheduled to work at church at the service. I'm not sure what the job is called in English, but in Swedish we call it "Kyrkvärd". Basically, I make the preparations before the service, I make sure everything is where it needs to be, I handle the sound equipment, and just make sure everything is in order before, during and after. I've done it on a couple of occasions already, but I am still nervous because it is my first Advent Sunday and there is going to be a lot more people there. Wish me luck!

I've had to go back to my moving-boxes and rummage through them to find the Christmas CDs I brought with me from Sweden. I've only found two, but I am pretty sure there should be at least one more in there somewhere. Granted a couple of boxes at the back of everything could contain some CDs, but I didn't feel like bringing everything else out of storage just to get to them. Luckily my fiancee has quite a collection of Christmas music CDs that we can listen to as well.

See you all on the other side!

A look in the rear-view mirror

Greetings from the other side.

A few days have passed since my last entry into this blog. It has generally been a calm few days, so I think this will end up being a fairly short entry, but it is an entry none-the-less.

On Thursday we went to celebrate one of my fiancee's nephews on his 20th birthday. It was a bit of a drive to get there, but nothing too big. We went there together with my fiancee's parents. It was a good evening, I thought. Good company, good food at a restaurant, and then we rounded off the evening with some coffee/tea at the birthday-boy's apartment. One of the things I love about my fiancee's family is that they are all so friendly and nice people. It has definitely helped my settling in here in Finland after my move.

I have to say, sitting in the car as it drives through the country-side over here, you could see patches of light on the thick cloud-covered sky. This light came from greenhouses on the ground below which were using what appeared to be pretty high-powered lamps to simulate sunshine for their plants in order to grow them all year around. It was interesting seeing that light reflected on the cloud-cover above though. You could definitely tell exactly where all the greenhouses were.

Went grocery shopping, and ran some errands, on Friday. It was a bit of a rainy day, but not too bad.

With Advent Sunday closing in, but my fiancee and I are eagerly awaiting the time when we can start 'officially' listening to Christmas-related music again, and plans are being made for decorations, etc. She's started baking in preparation for Christmas as well. Sadly, there is no snow on the ground anymore, but we are quietly hoping it will return at least in time for Christmas.

Yesterday was a pretty quiet day in this household. I got around to start listening to an audio book by Brandon Sanderson called "The Last Empire". I've heard from friends that the Mistborn series, the series of which "The Last Empire" is part of, is really good, but I haven't had the chance to get around to it until now. I have to say that so far I am really enjoying it. It feels a bit strange listening to it as an audio book though, as I am generally a person who prefers to hold a book in my hands when I read. It's ok though. I might get the actual physical copies of the books later, rather than just have them as audio books.

I think that will be enough for now.

See you all on the other side!

All Saint's Day

Greetings from the other side.

Happy All Saint's Day to those who celebrate it. Yesterday evening, my fiancee and I went to the local graveyard together with her parents to, like many others, light candles in remembrance of loved ones and relatives who have passed. It was dark outside, and the graveyard was lit up only by the candles that people had put on the graves. It was very beautiful, and gave a sort of serene feeling inside. Even though it was a bit chilly outside, the beauty of it sort of made you warm on the inside anyway.

I have always liked All Saint's Day. It, much more than Halloween, was a part of my life as I grew up. I guess that is why it, with its quite remembrance and honoring of those who have died, hold a much more special place in my heart than Halloween ever has or will. I respect other people enjoying it, and it does seem like fun, but I guess since I didn't grow up with it it doesn't mean as much to me.

Today my fiancee and I, together with her parents, have sung in the local church with a temporary choir that was put together for All Saint's Day specifically. It was a nice ceremony, with remembering all those in our parish who have passed away in the past year. A candle being lit for each one, while the pastor reads their names out loud. I am happy I was able to be part of that, and I hope that our songs will have given those there some comfort.

The weather is beautiful outside, though a bit chilly. Currently it is -3,3 degrees Celsius, so not that bad but still starting to get a bit chilly. I am thinking I might go for a walk later if my knee is ok with it. It feels good to be able to take walks again. I've missed it when my knee-issues have been getting in the way.

Work has been going well. I just need to remember to let my knee rest from time to time and to think about how I lift and carry things, etc. It is quite enjoyable working outside this time of year. It is one of the things that I like about my job, that I get to work outside and get fresh air. In the winter time, however, there will be less work for me to do outside, so most of my work will take place indoors instead. Which, depending on how cold it gets outside, might be a good thing.

Now I am going to rest for a bit.

See you all on the other side!

Halloween and life

Greetings from the other side.

Halloween is now upon us. Everywhere you look online there have been Halloween sales going on for he past week or two, and 'spooky' images and images of pumpkins carved in various ways have been popping up everywhere. I have to confess though I have never been that much into Halloween. I guess it is because it wasn't really a part of my childhood as such, I didn't really grow up trick-or-treating, and I don't really remember it being a 'thing' in general where I grew up until I was too old to really go trick-or-treating, etc. I get the idea behind it and the draw of it, but I just don't really feel very much about it when it comes down to it. I do think that I am probably a minority in that these days, which is fine. I don't mind Halloween as I think it is probably a fun holiday for kids, and grown-ups get a chance to be creative with their decorations. :)

I realize that I might sound like a really boring person, but hopefully I made it clear that I don't mind Halloween. All I am saying is that it isn't something that I grew up with so it doesn't really hold any special place in my heart. I can understand why others enjoy it though, but it has never been a big part of my life.

The sky is blue outside the windows for the second day running. It is beautiful. The air is cold and crisp as well. :) I really wish my knee was well so I could go out for a walk, but in the long run it is probably best that I stay inside and rest it until it is well again. I hope that will be soon because after something like four weeks I am getting a bit tired of it being like this. Granted, it has been better at times and worse at times, so it hasn't been all bad all the time. Which I am happy for. I just wish that it would go to being good ALL the time soon so I could start doing the things I want to do again, and help out more around the house and everything that goes into that.

Winter tires are finally on the car now, thanks to my father-in-law. I would have done it myself but because of my knee I really couldn't. He was also with me yesterday when I was working at a memorial service to help me out so I wouldn't strain my knee more than necessary. I am really thankful to him for that, and so is my knee. The knee was sore afterwards, but not as sore as it could have been. When we were driving there it was actually a bit slippery out on the roadway, and at one point the tires spun a bit. It wasn't too bad though, and we got there in one piece without any scares. I guess winter is on its way now. I have been told by a couple of people that they are expecting this winter to be really cold and bad. What I guess in Sweden we would call a 'varga vinter' (wolf's winter). We will see though. I remember last time I saw someone promise a "varga vinter" (the newspapers that time), while I was still living back home in Sweden, it turned out to be a really mild winter instead.

I think that's all for now. Time for me to go stretch my legs a bit. Need to still keep moving my legs from time to time so the knee doesn't get too stiff. I just need to be careful when I do it.

See you all on the other side!

Autumnal reflections & the day after before

Greetings from the other side.

This might have to be another short one. Brain is still a bit fried.

Today kinda feels a bit like 'the day after'. The day after my first day back at work. The day after my birthday. It is also the first day of being one year older. Another day closer to my parents coming to visit. All in all though, it has been a good day. I was able to get a lot of things done today at work that needed to be done and, as has started becoming the norm over here now, I have met and talked to some more really nice people.

The sky is still cloudy outside, and there is that autumnal chill in the air that kind of tells you that winter is around the corner. The leaves are falling from the trees and gathering in great, big carpets of red and yellow on the ground. Autumn is a very beautiful season. It is a great time for stopping, taking in a deep breath of cold autumn air, and look at the beautiful scenery. Sadly the autumn has claimed many leaves from the trees now, and some of them stand almost completely barren at this point. At least where I live. At the same time there are other trees who still have almost all of their leaves remaining, some even carrying some green leaves still.

There is something meditative about this time of year. Looking at the colours and feeling the crisp, cold air, can really spark your creative side to life. It can also be calming and soothing for the mind, and the soul. It is as if you are given one last vibrant display before winter comes.

There is something almost magical about autumn, I think. It is filled with vibrant colours, and that silence that feels so typical of both autumn and winter. As if nature itself is going to sleep, in dreaming slumber waiting for spring to arrive once more. Every season has its charms, I think. :)

See you all on the other side!

A special day

Greetings from the other side.

This will be a fairly short post. It has been a wonderful day, but also a long day, so I'm a bit tired.

Today has been a busy day for me, but also a day filled with good feelings.

It was the first day back at work having been on sick-leave last week due to my knee. Lots of things to do this week, but got off to a good start. The weather didn't quite cooperate, being a bit windy and chilly with cloud cover so you didn't really see the sun or the sky much, but it was ok anyway. It felt good being back, and good to be working and doing something again. I think this past week of immobility made it a pure joy to be able to do stuff again. I've really missed it. The knee still feels a bit tender and stiff, but I am able to work and do all that stuff as long as I am a bit careful. It hasn't gotten worse from working today, which is positive. Today went fine, so now I am resting my leg for another day of work tomorrow.

Today is also my birthday, and we've had guests over for dinner and coffee. It was really nice and everyone was in good spirits. It is always a pleasure spending time with my girlfriend's parents and siblings and their families. They are all so easy to get along with, honest and really good people. My girlfriend had made a ham and cheese pie for dinner, and then a healthy version (raw food) of a mars-bar cake, which was delicious. :) I am blessed to have her in my life, and she truly helped make this day a special one.

See you all on the other side!

The passage of time

Greetings from the other side.

Another week has almost passed now. Where did it really go? Time seems to fly by ever since I moved here. I can't believe it has already been almost 2½ months since I moved from Sweden to Finland. I guess the fact that time is flying by rather than slowly trudging along is some form of proof that I am happy here and enjoying myself though. In all honesty I am happy here. I have job that I like, a wonderful fiancee, good people around me, and Finland is a nice country. Just two years ago I would never had thought that I would be where I am today. Since then I have moved country, gotten a job there, and gotten engaged to be married to a wonderful woman, to name just a few things. Life, and God, works in mysterious ways some times. You can never fully know what life will throw at you next. Though I suppose that is part of what makes life interesting as well. Imagine if we knew all the things that would happen to us in our lives. Wouldn't that be boring? And somewhat scary as well? Imagine knowing when you were going to die, and how it would happen? Or knowing in advance of a serious accident you would be in - also knowing that there was nothing you could do to change or prevent it? I wouldn't want to know anything like that.

My parents will be coming over for a visit next weekend. Looking forward to that. They will also be bringing with them my winter tires, which will probably be needed soon. This will be their first time visiting us here since my move, so it will hopefully be nice for them to see where I live and what it is like here. :)

My knee is feeling much better now, which is a HUGE positive in my life right now. It isn't fully well yet, but in the last day or two it has been making big strides towards becoming well again. Hopefully it will be fully recovered by Monday when I start working again. :) It has taken almost 2 weeks for the knee to recover. Granted, in the first week I did still work even if I wasn't able to work full-on at my normal pace.

This weekend my fiancee and I are going to go sing with a choir that she is a part of. I am looking forward to it, though I still miss my old choir, Cantare, back in Umeå. This new choir doesn't have a name yet, from what I understand. I am sure it will be fun though, and some other members of my fiancee's family are part of it as well, so there will be familiar faces there. I hope my voice is up to scratch for them though. Always a bit nervous about these things at the beginning.

See you all on the other side!

A morning bird story & a bit on stress and relaxation

Greetings from the other side.

The day started quite interestingly, as my girlfriend opened up one of our closets and a small bird flew out. Poor little thing was so panicked. We managed to confine it to one room, and then I went in and opened the window so it could get out. It must have been a terrifying experience for the little bird, feeling trapped and not really knowing what was going on or who us giants were. We have found where we think it got in, and we are now taking measures to make sure it doesn't happen again.

One aspect of living in the country side that I find very relaxing is looking through a window and watching all the small birds fly and jump around outside. You feel a lot closer to nature and the natural world out here, than I ever did while I was living in a city. Though Umeå as a city did have quite a lot of forested areas within the city as well. It still wasn't the same as this though. That's not to say I didn't enjoy living there either. It was a nice city to live in, and I highly recommend people to go there if they haven't been there already. It's also a good place to study if you are a student. Though I should probably stop talking about this before I start sounding like an advertisement. Just saying it how I feel having lived there for many years. :)

Now onto the subject of stress and the importance of relaxation.

Stress is such a negative thing for us humans, at least in too high quantities it is. A bit of stress is fine, for the most part. Excessive amounts of stress however is part of the issue with today's society. And different people have different thresholds for how much stress they can handle. People get burned out, stressed out, suffer from depression and anxiety because of stress and the weight of expectation. I know this because I have been there myself in the past. As have my girlfriend, and many others. Therefore I think it so important to find those peaceful moments in life, enjoy them and cherish them. Being able to just relax for a moment is so incredibly important. Some people have a day a week, for example Sunday, that is devoted to rest. No, I am not talking specifically about Christians here, as that doesn't hold true for all Christians. It is more the idea I am talking about. Having a day devoted to rest, relaxation and re-charging of your inner batteries can be so incredibly important. I'm not saying you should stay in bed all day or just lay around on the couch watching movies. What I mean is that it should be a day where you do things that you enjoy, that aren't stressful to you or weighted down by a bunch of "musts" or "have to"s. Living in the modern society can be very stressful to a lot of people. There are a lot of expectations, work, etc. So having a day when you can just relax can be incredibly important.

I am not saying that letting yourself rest one day a week will keep you from burning out. All I am saying is that it can't hurt to focus on yourself and the things that make you happy and relaxed once in a while, rather than the things that you "should" or "must" do. I think that is good for your soul.

See you all on the other side!

Living in the countryside & more

Greetings from the other side.

Living in the countryside is very different from the life I was used to back home in Sweden. I've always lived in a town or city, so transitioning to life in a more rural area is definitely something different. Yet somehow it is also similar, and I have found it surprisingly easy to do so. You really have access to all the basic things you need out here. There is internet, a store, a church, good people, and anything you need that you can't find here is only about a 20-minute drive away in the city. I like the calm here, the d.i.y. mentality and the helpfulness that people exhibit on a regular basis. People help eachother out and it is the most natural thing ever. I like this mentality. I think it is the same thing in smaller communities back home in Sweden as well.

I love how open everything is here. There is forest, fields, open landscapes, and the sea. All clad in beautiful autumn colours. It is getting colder outside though, which is a minus. Pardon the non-intentional pun there. You can see the frost on the ground in the morning, and I have had to move my car indoors now to avoid having to scrape the frost off of the windows every morning before I head to work. At least I probably won't have to do any more lawn-mowing this year, which helps. Because of the warm weather all the lawns were growing like crazy up until a week or two ago.

As the days are getting inevitably shorter and it is getting darker outside, I sometimes wish I could gather a few friends and play some tabletop RPG. Go out on an adventure with my friends and get away from the darkness outside for a little bit. Sadly there is nothing set up here at home for that at the moment, except for the tabletop RPG books that are currently stored in the bookcase in our 'office'. I might try and get something set up in the future though, and see if I can scrape together some people to play a game or two. :)

Tomorrow we have my girlfriend's parents, siblings with their families, and her friends over for coffee to celebrate our engagement. Celebrations with my family and friends, who are currently back home in Sweden, will have to wait until they are able to get over here. I am looking forward to tomorrow. I am sure it will be a nice time and that lots of merriment will be had by all.

Had a chance to sit down and brain-storm a bit with my girlfriend today regarding my world-building. Even if she wasn't able to come up with too many ideas herself, she asked questions about things and let me speak freely, both of which helped get my brain-juices flowing. It is one thing sitting down in front of the computer with a blank document in front of you and try to write something, and something completely different when you get a chance to talk about and/or discuss it. I am grateful for her help.

One issue that has come up with my new phone is the ringtone. I can't really find one I really like amongst the ones that are already on there, and for some reason my mind has been drawing a complete blank on good music that would make good ringtunes. I am sure it will come to me eventually, but for now I am stuck with the default option, unfortunately. Other than that I am happy with it so far.

See you all on the other side!

Autumn Reflections & some other bits

Greetings from the other side.

Autumn has really painted this place in a lot of beautiful colours by now. Sadly the leaves don't stay on the trees for very long, but the ones that fall instead cover the ground in a beautifully coloured carpet, that rustles so gently when one walks through it. Autumn feels like a great time for reflection and inner soul-searching. If you are an artistic person I am sure you can find a lot of inspiration in the beautiful natural scenery and colour-palette that the world around you is painted in. For someone like me, who loves writing as well as creative and philosophical thinking, autumn is a time for reflection and philosophy. Granted, I think each season has its charms, and they are all beautiful and wonderful in their own way. My advise to anyone is to go outside, preferably away from the city to a place where you can be in natural surroundings, and just take a deep breath of cold, crisp autumn air. Let the clouds, the sky, and the colours of your surroundings fill your senses. It is a very serene and calming feeling. Just let go of your troubles for a little bit and enjoy the moment. It is very important to take moments. Moments of relaxation and serenity. Moments of introspection and meditation. Take a moment to realize just how beautiful our world really is. Regardless of whether you believe that it is God's creation or not, one thing I think we can all agree upon is that it is a beautiful place and we should all try and take care of it as best we can. It is our home, and currently the only world we have. It is our responsibility to look after it. :)


In other news pertaining more to my life here in Finland:

My knee is still aching. I have pushed through at work this week however, rather than calling in sick. If I did, none of my work would get done. At least if I am there I can do SOME of my work, if only at a slower pace than normally. At least I am not in constant pain, but the knee still feels stiff, sore and swollen. It looks a bit swollen as well. At least I am getting today and tomorrow off plus the weekend due to only working 60%, so that is very useful when I have these issues. I hope my knee will get better before Monday. Otherwise I might have to go and have it checked out.

My girlfriend and I went shopping earlier today and we had some errands to run as well. My knee wasn't too happy, but we got everything done. We are now set for having some of my girlfriend's family and friends over for engagement coffee on Sunday. Too bad none of my family are able to attend, but with the ferry out of the water for a two week period, that wasn't going to happen anyway. My parents will probably come over for a visit towards the end of this month anyway, so we'll get to celebrate with them then. :)

My knee seems to have survived all the walking between shops, etc, but my calf is really tender and tense. I think the poor thing has been taking the brunt of me limping around. So now I will let it rest as much as possible together with the knee. I am noticing that the knee usually feels best when I wake up in the morning, probably because it has been resting all night and not had any strain put on it for a few hours.

One of the things we managed to get for me today was a new phone! Yes. I finally have a finnish phone number. I still need to actually put the SIM card in, etc, but the fact that it is here now feels great. I didn't have much hope considering how things have gone previously when we have tried to get a cell phone for me. Happily we were more lucky this time around. Hopefully this means the end of overly expensive phone bills for my girlfriend when she tries to call or text to me.

I have not been able to go home to Sweden for a visit since I moved here some 2 months ago or so. It's a shame, but it is the way it is. I am feeling quite at home here, and I know I will get to go home soon enough. :) Now that I am not working so much I have more time to take a trip across the water. :)

I am also making slow progress with the finnish language. Due to a busy schedule and other things getting in the way, as well as me not having found a good app or other thing to help me study the language, I have only been able to take small steps so far. Learning a word here and there, and my father-in-law gave me some great tips on finnish pronunciation. I am not setting my sights too high, or aiming for impossible things, but I am hoping I will be able to at least understand it in the future, and make myself understood as well, even if I perhaps won't be able to hold too advanced a conversation. :) We shall see how it goes!

See you all on the other side!

Cell Phone Adventures & Life

Greetings from the other side.

The weekend is here again, after another week of work. Starting on Monday things will be a bit different for me as my job now goes down to 60%. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I have more time on my hands to do other things, and admittedly some of those things will probably involve more work in other places. On the other hand my salary also goes down to 60%. That is less good, but as I said I can fill it out with working extra at other places, so we should be fine.

We had a lot of errands to run yesterday. Included in that list of errands were to get me a finnish cell phone so that the people living here wouldn't have to call 'abroad' every time they were trying to reach me on my swedish phone. Turns out it isn't that simple to get a phone when you are newly arrived here in Finland. I can buy a cell phone if I pay the whole sum for it up-front, something we had decided was too big a sum to splash on a phone right now, all things considered. That just left us with one option: paying in installments. Granted, they did have that option - you could buy one and pay over 6 or 10 months - but it requires me to have lived in Finland for a minimum of 3 years. 3 years. To buy a cell phone. And my girlfriend couldn't get it in her name either as she is currently recovering from her burn out and is thus, technically, still considered unemployed. The fact that I have employment, a salary, and would have no problems paying for it didn't matter at all. So technically together we meet all the pre-requisites: I have a steady job and a steady income, and she has lived here all her life. Unfortunatelly that wasn't enough.

We are still going to try calling and asking Sonera (service provider) whether there is something we can do with them. Why Sonera? Because of the fact that with them I can call in all the Nordic countries (or it might just be Sweden and Finland, I'd have to double-check) without paying extra. If that doesn't work I might just have to buy the phone at some point when I am back home in Sweden visiting instead. Which, considering I will now only be working 60% in my main job, will probably be a bit easier to find time for.

The weather has been pretty up-and-down this past week. We've had a rainstorm one day, sunshine the next day, storm winds the following day, etc etc. You can definately tell that the autumn is here. It is quite beautiful out here this time of year with the trees donning their autumn-dresses. Especially when set against a clear, blue sky.

The house is getting into better and better shape with regards to the two floors. Soon we will hopefully be able to have people from Sweden come over to visit, something I am definately looking forward to! :) We have brought in the book case now which will get assembled soon.

That's it from me for this time.

See you all on the other side!

Energy levels & Thoughts

Greetings from the other side.

I finally seem to have my energy back again. It has been very strange how my energy-levels have been coming and going in the last couple of weeks. Hopefully it is back to stay now, as it has been affecting me quite a lot. I have soldiered on as best I have been able to, but admittedly some times I have been working at half-speed because of it. :-/ I have been able to do my job and do the tasks I am required to do, but I would have much rather been doing it with my normal energy rather than feeling like I'd rather go lie down and rest. Keeping my fingers crossed that my energy-levels have stabilized now.

Going through a period of time like that makes you realize how important it is to be able to feel like you have the energy to do things. Not tired like you haven't been sleeping even though you have been making sure that you get the required amount of sleep. It's a weird thing because no matter how much you sleep you still feel like you haven't been sleeping much at all. I wasn't showing any other symptoms either, like fever or anything like that which might have helped explain the sudden lack of energy.

Besides that though, I have been doing alright. Things are going well at work and I am still feeling like I am growing with the job. I have had a chance to meet a lot of wonderful people, and it is always a pleasure talking to them. Today I was helping out at a meet-up for people above the age of 60, and I really enjoyed it. They were really friendly and it was a joy helping out.

Only cloud on my work-related 'sky' is that, starting on Monday, my job goes down from 100% to 60%. I will probably be able to fill out the rest by working extra in other places, etc, however. So my girlfriend and I should be able to manage.

I am hoping that my energy-levels will remain at their normal level from now on.

See you all on the other side!

Reflections under an overcast sky

Greetings from the other side.

Another fine day of working in the sunshine. Well... not quite "sunshine", more like "cloudy overcast", but it has been a nice day none the less. The temperature outside has been decent, though unfortunatelly, because of the overcast, the grass isn't drying very well, which is causing me some issues with the machines that are supposed to cut said grass. It's been a struggle at times, but eventually I got some done at least.

It has been a day of quiet contemplation while working. There is something almost meditative in loosing yourself in thought while you work. Some times it can even help you solve a problem you have been struggling with for a while, or it can give you new inspiration for something. For me, both things were true today. I was able to figure something out that I have been pondering for a while now, with regards to my world-building, and I also found inspiration for something new which I could add to it.

The weeks just seem to be rolling by. It's monday, and then suddenly the week has passed by again. I guess it is a good sign that I am enjoying myself here, but at the same time sometimes I wish that time would slow down a little. At least on occasion. The weekends would be a good time to do it in. Though I have a feeling that would be asking for too much.

We're still unpacking and moving stuff, little by little. My working long days does put a little break on it, but we'll get it all done eventually. We also need to get the upstairs ready as well, as we did move some stuff from there downstairs. Soon enough we will be able to have people from Sweden visiting. Something I am quite looking forward to! :)

Time for me to go help out with the dinner.

See you all on the other side!

A thought-full entry

Greetings from the other side.

A few days have gone by since my last update. During this time I have been busy with work, moving, every-day life things, and a tad of role-playing related stuff. In short: I have been busy. Yet for some reason, as I sit here to write about it, nothing in particular comes to mind. Strange that. I know I have been very busy, but at the moment I can't think of anything to write about. I guess it must be the tiredness, and I have plenty of that. Though that is partly my own fault as well. I did sit up later than usual last night playing a tabletop roleplaying game with my friends over the internet. It was fun, but it also resulted in me only getting about 6 hours of sleep last night. Luckily it only happens once or twice a week, so it won't effect me too much. You do feel some effect from it though, as working 8 or 9 hour days combined with not enough sleep does tend to leave a mark. But as I said, I only sit up like that once or twice a week, so I'll be fine.

Still haven't gotten any extra TV-channels installed, so I still can't watch the football (soccer for you North Americans out there). I do miss it, but due to a few different factors we have postponed getting them to a later date. It will happen eventually though, and I am quite looking forward to that day.

In my job there's a lot of work, but it also lends itself to a lot of time for reflection and thinking. I quite enjoy that about my job as well. It is an interesting mix of physical labour, and creative thinking. It lends itself well for my world-building, without taking anything away from performing my actual work. In that sense I guess I get the best of both worlds in this job. I think it is beneficial to both the mind, the spirit, and the body.

The physical nature of the job still leaves me tired in the evening, though I suppose that shows I am actually doing something during the day.

Another factor I love about my job is that I get to meet and talk to a lot of people. It gives a sense of connection, that I wouldn't get otherwise. I work in a church, and even though the church is my employer I serve the parrish. The contact with people, talking to and listening to them, is an important part of the whole. I believe in meeting everyone with kindness and an open mind, no matter who they are.

See you all on the other side!